How to Get Rid of
Guilty! It's the way millions feel. Guilt feelingsbearing shameful memories, being unable to rid oneself of haunting doubtsare standard fare for too many people. They are also fertile ground for cults whose leaders exploit these feelings of guilt for their own selfish purposes. Are you a guilty person? Do nagging doubts about your past and apprehensions over your future plague your mind? If so, you need to read this. It could change everything.
By Garner Ted Armstrong
The
taunting chant picked up in intensity, punctuated by the unbearable sight of Wanda's
pigtails bouncing up and down saucily as she, too, joined the little group who had now
abandoned their skip rope to take up the cry, "Jimmy's got a girl friend! Jimmy's got
a girl friend! Jimmy's got a girl friend!..."
It was like a song, an old remembered refrain
he had sung to himself at least a hundred times, consisting of only three notes that
somehow contrived to rake against his brain like that horse-faced teacher's chalk had in
English class when she made his skin prickle with the squeaking sound she had made writing
on the blackboard.
They had been jumping one at a time when Gloria
suddenly jumped into the middle of his turn and caused him to miss a step and fall
awkwardly against her. Together they had yelped as the rope struck their ankles with the
sting of bristle-stiff hemp, and then they had been on the ground, with Gloria's skirt
embarrassingly high and Jimmy's arm somehow around her shoulders.
He had leapt to his feet then, trying not to
look, checks burning with shame as the laughter began, and his arch enemy (that little
smart aleck from the other side of town) began taunting him"Jimmy's got a girl
friend! Jimmy's got a..."
He had shyly pulled Wanda's pigtails once
because he had heard some of the older boys in the third grade say the girls liked it and
that was why they wore their hair like that. He liked Wanda and made up daydreams about
her. Now even Wanda was there with her face swimming through the mist that clouded his
eyes, nagging him like his own mother, joining the insufferable chant that, if it didn't
stop, would reduce him to quivering jelly.
The recess bell rang loudly, and Mrs. Shuey,
their teacher, clapped her hands from the porch nearby. "That's enough,
children!" she said with her high-pitched, cracked voice. George slowly began to coil
the rope, the first to quit the chant. But the bell and Mrs. Shuey's voice had done it,
and finally the ordeal was over.
But the shame remained.
He didn't like Gloria at all. She was too
forward, too much like a boyand she was fat. It was all her fault. She had jumped
right into the middle of his turn, and just because they had fallen ... It just wasn't
fair, but he felt ashamedsomehow guilty.
Simple cruelties of childhood can contrive to
produce long remembered feelings of guilt in everyone. Shame, embarrassment,
guiltall are insufferable wounds to ego. Throughout all our lives we human beings
seem unable to rid ourselves of feelings of guilt. From earliest memory we were shamed,
made to feel dirty, evil, forgetful, inadequate and guilty. From playground encounters
with other children to the rebukes and punishment of thoughtless parents who reinforced
our feelings of guilt, most humans have been molded and shaped into many complex
personality quirks that plague their minds.
Guilt and inferiority go hand in hand. Millions
of seemingly outgoing, dynamic, successful people have been driven by inner feelings of
inferiority. Seeking continually to prove these nagging doubts wrong, to demonstrate to
themselves and to their friends they are not truly inferior (as they believe, deep down),
they struggle to achieve, to succeed.
The Beginnings of Guilt
Thoughtless parents begin the process, cruel
playmates refine it, and human feelings of inferiority complete it. Guilt. By the time
most of us are adults, we have an intricate maze of subjective perceptions, concepts,
apprehensions, doubts, fears, worries, neuroses, fixations, hatreds, anxieties and defense
mechanisms. Our minds are terribly adept at fending off the truth about ourselvesfar
more effective than the most sophisticated radar-jamming devices. We are willing to go to
almost any lengths to quiet these nagging inner voicesfrom frequent visits to a
favorite shrink to pilgrimages to a neighborhood church.
The Freudian aspects are not to be ignored, for
many of the most poignant of the guilt feelings stem directly from witless teachings
passed on by ignorant parents and thoughtless friends and revolve around sex. (No doubt
there are people who believe anyone under five feet, six inches of the male species
overindulged in masturbation [it will stunt your growth, the parent said]. And that
carries horrible specters of unimaginable problems for midgets).
Ignorant masses of guilty people contrive to
foist these same psychoses off on the next generation in spite of the imagined freedom of
a sex-conscious, anti-Augustinian society. In the early teens youngsters become deeply
conscious of their developing bodies, and with that consciousness come various hang-ups,
doubts, anxieties, shame and guilt. The lies are endlessly promulgated that sexual prowess
relates directly to size, so millions of males grow up feeling inadequate. Statistics
would be impossible to collect showing the direct relationship between these lies
perpetuated in high-school locker rooms and broken marriages, homosexuals, impotency or
even suicide, but the relationship is there nevertheless.
Inferiority, Inadequacy and Guilt
All human beings feel inferior. Guilt and
inferiority go hand in hand. Society demands success. To be successful is the only
acceptable goal in life, and success is measured not by what we are but by what we have.
When we are unsuccessfulthat is, when we have fewer things than
otherswe feel inferior and guilty. There must be some reasons why we are
unsuccessful or we wouldn't be unsuccessful. Those unspoken reasons haunt us, for
we suspect our friends are continually speaking of them behind our backs.
Are we lazy or just lacking in initiative,
inventiveness, energy and zeal? Are we lacking in education and ideas? Since we tend to
measure success by material possessions rather than quality of character, our success or
the lack of it is terribly, painfully visible.
The neighborhood, the size and appearance of
our homes, our automobiles (which are statements of our personality and our success), the
club to which we belong, if any, and even the more personal aspects of dress, personal
taste and culture are vastly important to our image.
How many millionaires are there who lack any
specifically important goal in life other than making money? Making money was a means to
the end of owning things, and the size, location and quality of those things was the
statement, visible to the whole world, of their true character. Rich is respectable.
There are probably as many successful, rich,
prominent people who became so because of their desperate desire to overcome their guilt
feelings, their inadequacies, their lack of success and suspected inferiority as there are
those who were unaware of such nonsense.
Adolf Hitler had only one testicle. He had a
deep, bitter hatred of an unsuccessful father and a deep, hidden mother fixation. His
Freudian relation with Eva Braun was more as the passive, hurt, needy child creeping into
a protective mother's arms than it was of lover, master or man. He was impotent, and
the knowledge drove him to wild, demonic energy to be successful before the whole world in
order to remove the gnawing pain of his deepest personal failure.
Despots do not become inadequate so often as
the inadequate become despots.
Human nature is vanity, jealousy, Just and
greed. It is, above all else, ego. The blatant egotism of people, so obvious to their
detractors, stems from their deepest feelings of jealousy of others more successful and of
their own inadequacies, feelings of failure and guilt. Some of the vainest people you
knowinsensate, lacking in sympathy for others, narcissistic to the extremeare
very likely driven by deep feelings of inferiority and guilt.
But there is a way to rid yourself of these
feelings of fear and guilt!
The Fear of Death
Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said,
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" There is a root cause for fear
and guilt.
God's Word says people are like slaves to their
own passions and appetites. Here's why: "...that through death He [Christ] might
destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil; and deliver them who through fear
of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage" (Hebrews 2:14,15).
Believe it or not, fear of death is a powerful,
underlying motivation in the minds of millions. The world's great religions and thousands
of sects and cults are built on this fear, at least to some degree.
For millennia human beings have pondered the
unknowns of life after death, of the great nothingness beyond. Through their fears of
death and their desperate tenacity to life, they have followed every conceivable form of
religion from the staid, formal ceremonials to the weird, bizarre, cultic rites.
They want to know. The desire to be sure
of one's personal destiny has led many a questing churchgoer from one religion to another
striving to find that ultimate, magic solution.
Today the effects of "future shock"
are upon us. In an overpopulated, polluted world of potential nuclear holocaustsa
world of fantastic, noisy, hectic, awesome technology, a world of rapid travel, instant
global communication, hydrogen bombs, nuclear ships, laser rays, skylabs, Venus probes and
the remote hopes of cloningmillions are frustrated, disappointed, fearful, doubtful
and wondering.
Whether it involves failure on the job,
personal tragedy or loss of a loved one, we can all experience a "what's the
use?" attitude to the point of contemplating suicide. Today even very young teens and
small children have been known to take their own lives!
Of course suicide is the ultimate way out
chosen by people who have allowed great discouragement to get them down. They simply
cannot face life any more.
But no suicide should ever take place if a
person truly understood the real purpose in his own birthwhy he is here!
If we could understand the latent potential
within each of us, we could begin to shut out of our minds these feelings of doubt,
inferiority, futility, discouragement and frustration.
The Psychological Placebo
Is it really possible, by reading an endless
series of books, journals, articles (including this one), to "kid" ourselves out
of our troubles? Can any of you who are bedridden actually kid yourself into thinking you
are not in bed? Can a person recovering from the shock of having lost a loved oneor
even the loss of a limb or eyesight or the experience of total
bankruptcy"delude" himself into thinking all this has not occurred?
Can people who have undergone the shock of
sudden unemployment, a broken marriage or any number of other personal tragedies simple
"talk themselves out of" their despondency?
How many psychology books are there that
advance empty theories of confidence in yourself, attempting to show people how to
overcome feelings of insecurity, despondency and disappointment? Unfortunately most of the
"cures" do not seem to remove the root cause of the problem.
But let's get to the heart of the matter.
There are two major areas that have to do with
the root cause of all these negative feelings. The first is what you think of
yourself! The second is what others think of you!
Let's deal with the first one.
What are YOU? Have you ever really
thought back to your own origins? It is true that the archaeologist's spade proves to us
that the footprints of humankind lead away from the Middle East. Without a long
dissertation on history, suffice it to say that every human being has grandparents,
great-grandparents, and so on.
Americans were moved deeply watching Alex
Haley's Roots and Roots: The Next Generations on national
television; millions saw the former production twice. This black American's noble search
for his origin captured the hearts and imaginations of those who vicariously accompanied
Haley on his quest.
But, though few would like to admit the
veracity of the very truth of God, we can all trace our "roots" and our origins
right back to the three sons of Noah mentioned in the sixth and seventh chapters of the
book of Genesis! Beyond that we can trace our "roots" right back to Adam, the
first man on the earth!
Of course millions of people do not believe in
God. Not that they have "disproved" the existence of God, they have simply
allowed their minds to be clouded with dozens of evolutionary and atheistic concepts and
have never tried to prove it one way or the other. But, to anyone who is willing to prove
the existence of an all wise Creator God who is the Life Giver, Law Giver, Creator,
Sustainer and the Great Being who answers prayers, they could come to know a great deal
more about themselves than could any skeptic or atheist.
A Spark of Life
What are you?
You are a spark of life in the vastness of an
interminable, unbelievably awesome universe. Your life is yours. You have a right
to be here! Your life once was only a potential for life and did not exist of and by
itself. At one instant in time, at the very beginning of your own life, there were millions
of potential human lives struggling toward one female ovum in the womb of your mother. But
that one male sperm cell that was to unite with the female ovum and become you won
the frantic quest, and at that instant a new human being began to be formed!
David wrote of these marvels in the Psalms,
showing his awe at the existence of human life and its marvelous and miraculous origins.
Yet there was a moment in time when, although
the potential for you" existed, "you" did not yet exist. Then, at
the uniting of those infinitesimally small seeds of human life, youyes, youbegan.
By the miracle of begettal designed by the
awesome mind of the Creator God, the very pattern that was to become youall
that you were to inherit from your parents, including, but not limited to, your height,
general weight, stature, shape of head, pigmentation, color of hair and eyes, texture of
skin, your very nature and possibly the tenor or timbre of your voice, certain personality
attributes and abilitieswas beginning to be formed in the womb of your mother.
Too often too many people "sell themselves
short." Buffeted all their lives by feelings of inferiority, tossed to and fro by
feelings of self-doubt, continually attacked by the sharklike environment of their
earliest schoolyard experience on up to the mature experiences of adult life, they find
these feelings of inadequacy and inferiority continually heightened as they are made ever
more poignant and unbearable by being constantly exposed in the light of the successes of
others.
There was the story some years ago, for
example, of a young Puerto Rican-American who in utter desperation and self-disgust gulped
a deadly poison, doused himself in lighter fluid, struck a match and then, after all this,
leaped out of a window of a skyscraper! As grisly as it sounds, this was a man who wanted
to make sure!
Not knowing the tremendous potential of human
life, not being even a little bit "in awe" of his own meaning, origins and
ultimate destiny, this man "succeeded" in killing himself.
Suicide is a sin, a sin that can and
will be repented of in the resurrection. When Jesus Christ of Nazareth raises that
young man from the dead and teaches him what the ministry of this world should have
been teaching him all along, perhaps he will repent and learn then what you can
learn now!
Consider Your Potential
Though the Bible encourages a person not to
think more highly of himself than he should, too many people, drifting into
feelings of despair, doubt, inferiority and discouragement, do not think enough of
themselves! However, there is a great difference between thinking of your potential in the
very family and the Kingdom of God and your actual "net worth" as a person
today.
Believe it or not, the Bible teaches that we
should not have the kind of self-confidence" promoted by most of the psychology
books! As a matter of fact, one might assume God says we should feel exactly the opposite
from the approach presented to us by most psychologists.
Jeremiah, writing about the human mind and
human nature, said, "The heart [the mind] is deceitful above all things, and
desperately wicked [margin: sick]; who can know it? I the Eternal search the heart, I try
the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to
the fruit of his doings" (Jeremiah 17:9, 10).
The apostle Paul said, "For I know that in
me (that is, in my flesh) dwells no good thing: for to will is present
with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not" (Romans 7:18). Here Paul
was talking about the "downward pull" of human nature!
He said later, "Because the carnal mind is
enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed
can be" (Romans 8:7).
In explaining this downward pull, he said this,
"The good that I want to do, I can't do, and the evil which I really don't want to
do, I find myself doing!
"Now, if I do that which I don't want to
do, it isn't really me that is doing it, but sin that seems to dwell in me.
"I have found there is a law that, when I
want to do good, evil is present within me.
"Actually, I delight in the law of
God after the inward manbut I find another law in my physical members, in conflict
against the law of mind, which tends to bring me into captivity to the law of sin which
rages in my members.
"O wretched man that I am! Who can deliver
me from this body of death?
"But I thank God that through Jesus Christ
our Lord it can be done!
"So then, with my innermost mind, I
myselfthe real meserve the law of God, but with my physical,
fleshly body I tend to serve the law of sin" (Romans 7:19-25, paraphrased).
When Job repented he "came to
himself." That is, for the first time in his entire life, with all of the ego,
jealousy, vanity, especially his incredible amount of self-righteousness, stripped away,
Job saw only the true emptiness that was within.
He said to God, "I have heard of You by
the hearing of the ear: but now my eye sees You. Wherefore I abhor myself
and repent in dust and ashes" (Job 42:5,6).
But, once a person has come to this total
awareness of the law of "sin and death" that rages in our members and has come
to the point of abhorrence of self, it is to be immediately replaced with the true
appraisal of the ultimate worth of oneselfthat is, the ultimate potential
that is there!
Even as Jesus said no man yet has "hated
his own flesh," so these scriptures in God's Word are not intended to replace
feelings of false self confidence with great feelings of guilt.
Unfortunately some religionists have gone to an
opposite extreme! In their haste to do away with all the
"pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps" philosophies of pseudo success, they have
tended to shift to the opposite extreme of instilling in people feelings of total
worthlessness!
Some religious teachers urge upon people
continual feelings of rejection, worthlessness, guilt, vanity, carnality, enmity and
hostility toward God, futility and uselessness. Such feeling can in extreme cases
lead toward suicide and sometime do just that.
In my own personal experience I recall that a
few years ago a Bible instructor in the college of which I was president was giving one of
his "don't-live-a-double-life" lectures in the freshman Bible class.
Unfortunately this very stern and harsh lecture concerning the secret sins in people's
private lives happened to be scoring far more telling blows in the mind of at least one
frightened, defeated and frustrated young person than the professor might have known.
Consequently the young freshman, his mind
filled with feelings of total frustration and discouragement, walked straight out of this
professor's classroom, continued several blocks to Pasadena's famous "Suicide
Bridge" and leaped to his death in the arroyo below.
How about that as a "fruit" of
religious teaching?
By means of a lecture on the secret sins of
people's private lives, a young man was so deeply thrown into the blackest kind of
discouragement and despair that the only way "out" he could see was to hurl
himself off a bridge.
Does God really intend this kind of self-hate?
We shall see!
Should You Hate Yourself?
The apostle Paul said, "O wretched man
that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" (Romans 7:24).
Was he lying about his deepest feeling of self?
Did Paul really feel "wretched"? He said
he did, and he said so under the inspiration of God's Holy Spiritthe "other
Comforter" Christ said He would send and which He called "the Spirit of
truth."
Some assume Paul didn't really mean he
had any personal feelings of spiritual inadequacy and seem to feel Paul was only
"faking it," only attempting to appear "humble."
No, Paul meant it fully. However, he was
contrasting himself in his purely human, day-to-day physical state with the perfect
spiritual law of God (Romans 7:14).
When making such comparisons any human being is
bound to fall far short. What about even thinking a thought tinged around the edges
with evil? What about moments of irritation, anger or even hatred? If you experience
these, then you have in that moment broken the spirit of the Ten Commandmentsbroken
the law, sinned! John said, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive
ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins [to Him, not
to any human priest, or to other human beings], He is faithful and just to forgive us our
sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we
make Him a liar, and His word is not in us" (I John 1:8- 10).
Paul was not afraid to acknowledge that he fell
short of God's perfection.
He knew thatputting all his past sins and
experiences and his present difficulties (striving to do the right thing and falling
short) into one lump sumhe came up feeling inadequate.
But on balance you need to equate these
statements with other scriptures wherein Paul was speaking of self-righteousness and
feelings of self-worth.
Paul was concerned for the fledgling Christians
of the Corinthian church. False ministers were turning their heads, making them feel true
righteousness came from such physical efforts as circumcision, various physical rituals
and rites and self-righteous pharisaical attitudes.
To shame some of these new Christians who had
begun to be impressed by the "credentials" of such "great men," Paul
wrote, "Seeing that many glory after the flesh, I will glory also.
"For you suffer fools gladly, seeing you
yourselves are wise. For you suffer, if a man bring you into bondage, if a man devour you,
if a man take of you, if a man exalt himself, if a man smite you on the face.
"I speak concerning reproach, as though we
had been weak. Howbeit whereinsoever any is bold, (I speak foolishly) I am bold also.
"Are they Hebrews [these false teachers]?
so am I. Are they Israelites? so am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? so am I.
"Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as
a fool) I am more; in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more
frequent, in death oft.
"Of the Jews five times received I forty
stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once I was stoned, thrice I suffered
shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeyings often, in perils of
waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen,
in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among
false brethren; in weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in
fastings often, in cold and nakedness.
"Besides those things that are without,
that which comes upon me daily, the care of all the churches.
"Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is
offended, and I burn not?
"If I must needs glory, I will glory of
the things which concern my infirmities" (II Corinthians II: 18-30).
Later he said, "
For in nothing am I
behind the very chiefest apostles, though I be nothing. Truly the signs of an apostle were
wrought among you in all patience, in signs, and wonders, and mighty deeds" (II
Corinthians 12:11,12).
Paul had said at the beginning of this
discourse, "For I suppose I was not a whit behind the very chiefest apostles"
(II Corinthians 11:5).
One of the wonderful things about the Word of
God is that it allows the human nature of its strongest heroes to shine through. We are
able to see the humility and meekness of Paul when he says he is "wretched" when
measured against God's righteous, spiritual, perfect law, yet see his boldness in
comparing himself with the "very chiefest" of the other apostles, human beings
just like Paul and men who had the same carnal pulls of human nature.
Paul's sarcasm toward the false teachers, his
willingness to descend into the "foolishness" of carnal comparisons of various
ethnic and religious "credentials," is obviously an exercise in futility. Yet he
shows that, if those are the standards by which the Corinthians were going to judge
he stood head and shoulders above the others who were leading them astray.
Still, even in the boldness of physical
comparison, Paul maintained his meekness. At the end of the entire dissertation he said
"though I be nothing" (II Corinthians 12:11).
Paul could feel "wretched" by comparison
to God's perfect, righteous, spiritual law, but he could hold his head high when
carnal-minded religious teachers wanted to hide behind "spiritual credentials."
Paul had an accurate appraisal of self-worth. He said Christ had revealed to him,
"...My grace is sufficient for you," and continued, "
for my strength
is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities,
that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (II Corinthians 12:9).
Through Jesus Christ, on faith, Paul
could feel strong. He could have total confidence, a deep flowing sense of complete
commitment of purpose, of an ultimate goal and of self-worth in knowing he was
accomplishing his own personal destiny in spite of his personal failings.
By looking to Jesus Christ as his righteousness
and not searching into his own feelings of inner guilt or inadequacy, by having the faith
to know he was forgiven when he sinned, he pressed toward the calling of Christ with his
eyes firmly fixed on his Saviorfilled with absolute conviction that the final
outcome would be right!
Paul never became suicidal with despondency,
even though he had more than enough to bother his conscience, or to hurt his feelings, or
cause for complaint through physical suffering, rejection, persecution and fear of death.
Did Paul Become Discouraged?
Anyone reading through the scriptures above
("...five times received I forty stripes save one") carefully and trying to
imagine exactly how it feels can understand. Paul was lashed to the stocks,
stripped to the waist and beaten with whips five times, when even the shame
of feeling one cut of a lash would be forever indelibly imprinted on the mind.
Notwithstanding the physical anguish, what about the damage to the spirit? Many a man has
been reduced to a whimpering, fear-ridden shadow of a man by such horrible beatings.
Prisoners of war can testify to strong men being turned into craven collaborationists
through physical torture. Yet Paul endured such terrible suffering and, not only endured
it, but also was able to use the experience in teaching others.
Once Paul was stoned. So far as he knew the end
of his life had come. He was stood up against the wall, the traditional stoning place
where those guilty of alleged capital crimes were put to death, and a large crowd
proceeded to hurl hundreds of stones at him. The hail of rocks of every size that could be
hefted and hurled was impossible to dodge. Finally, after his back, sides, anus,
shoulders, head, face, legs and every part of his body had been struck until he was a mass
of purpled and blackened bruises, with welling cuts and abrasions, he fell into a heap,
partially buried by the growing mound of stones.
At length someone shouted for the hail of rocks
to stop, and, stooping to check whether their victim was indeed dead, tried to find signs
of life.
Paul's pulse was so low, the heart a mere faint
flutter, that his antagonists assumed he was dead, so he was dragged out of the city and
rolled over a slight precipice.
No doubt friends later picked him up and cared
for him (see Acts 143:19,20).
What does it take to discourage someone?
Paul had more reason than ninety percent of the
human race for feeling a "what's the use?" attitude! No one would have blamed
him if he simply gave up and quit.
But he didn't.
Do you know why?
Paul had been party to horrible outrages
against Christians, and it constantly sawed against his conscience.
In the stoning of Stephen, Paul (whose name was
Saul then) was an interested spectator. Though he didn't take part directly, he
nevertheless guarded the garments of those who did and watched the murder take place.
"Then they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and ran upon him with
one accord, and cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down
their clothes at a young man's feet, whose name was Saul" (Acts 7:57,58).
No doubt thoughts of this participation in a
stoning came back clearly while Paul was himself feeling the sickening shock of jagged
rocks thudding into his flesh and bones years later.
"And Saul was consenting unto his death.
And at that time there was a great persecution against the church which was at Jerusalem;
and they were all scattered abroad throughout the regions of Judaea and Samaria, except
the apostles ... As for Saul, he made havoc of the church, entering
into every house, and haling men and women committed them to prison" (Acts 8:1-3).
A Complete Transformation
After being struck down and blinded on the
road to Damascus, Saul underwent a complete transformation in his life. He became converted,
completely changed! From a carnal-minded, hostile, hate-filled murderer of
men and women, a tyrannical terror whose very name conjured up visions of ghastly
suffering, Paul (even his name was changed) became one of the kindest, gentlest, most
loving, forgiving, longsuffering Christian men in history. His letters are wonderful
testimony to his humility. His self-effacing attitude of gratitude for Christ's loving
mercy and his perseverance under the most unimaginable trials and suffering are wonderful
examples.
Paul spoke of the great change in his life in
his life in his defense before King Agrippa. "I verily thought with myself, that I
ought to do many things contrary to the name of Jesus of Nazareth. Which thing I also did
in Jerusalem: and many of the saints did I shut up in prison, having received authority
from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I gave my voice against them.
"And I punished them oft in every
synagogue, and compelled them to blaspheme; and being exceedingly mad against them, I
persecuted them even unto strange cities" (Acts 26:9-11).
Paul's conscience was washed clear and clean by
the atoning sacrifice of the blood of Jesus Christ long before he made these statements to
Agrippa. Yet the poignant, painful memory or having actually tormented poor human beings
to the point of forcing them to scream out curses against God before they died plagued his
mind.
He knew he was forgiven, knew Jesus Christ had
spoken to him on the road to Damascus (Acts 26:14,15) and remembered vividly the time he
had spent with Christ (who appeared to him over a long period of time), and still he was
able to remember with a good deal of shame the horrible things he had done (see I
Corinthians 15:8; 9: 1; Galatians 1: 12,17,18).
During the rest of his ministry, Paul was
continually able to contrast his past actions with the love and mercy of Christ. He was
able to keep a proper balance between the knowledge of his past sins and his feelings of
unworthiness and humility as a result, and, on the other hand, his feelings of self-worth.
Paul knew he was a leading apostle and said so.
"For I suppose I was not a whit behind the
very chiefest apostles" (II Corinthians 11:5); "...for in nothing am I behind
the very chiefest apostles, though I be nothing " (II Corinthians 12:11).
With Paul it was a matter of keeping his goals
clearly in mind, never deviating from the whole absorbing, consuming purpose in his life,
and never accepting a diffusion of goals, false, aimless, useless goals, or being subject
to dark feelings of self-pity and inferiority.
He very likely had a terrible physical
infirmity (Galatians 6: 11; 4:15 and II Corinthians 10:10) to add to his troubles.
Evidence indicates it may have been a disease of the eyes, causing not only partial
blindness (to prove the authenticity of his letter to the Galatians he said, "See how
with such large letters I have written to you in my own handwriting"), but the
additional burden of physical ugliness.
For all this Paul was not discouraged or
tormented by feelings or worthlessness.
Look at Paul objectivelytry to imagine
him as a man you know, a neighbor perhaps. Here was a man who had violently persecuted
Christians, even causing them to curse God before they died, a man whose conscience would
forever be indelibly burnt with the recollections of those persecutions. He said "[I]
was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I
did it ignorantly in unbelief .. Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am
chief' (I Timothy 1: 13-15).
He said, "For you have heard of my
conversation in time past in the Jews' religion, how that beyond measure I persecuted the
church of God, and wasted it..." (Galatians 1: 13).
Here was a man who constantly bore the shame of
his past sins even though he knew he had been forgivenwho always stayed humble
through that knowledge. "And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born
[Greek gennao, meaning "begotten"] out of due time. For I am the least of
the apostles, that am not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of
God" (I Corinthians 15:8,9).
Yet, in spite of these memories, Paul was able
to hold up his head in confidence and say on other occasions that he was no "one whit
behind the very chiefest apostles."
Here was a man who lived alonenot being
married because of the terrible hardships he suffered in the preaching of the Gospel.
Analyze his life up to this point.
Deny Christ's Blood?
How many people do you know (including
yourself) who allow knowledge of their past guilt to drag them down? How
many people are there who actually deny the blood of Christ through their guilt?
How do you deny Christ's blood? If you feel His
shed blood is not sufficient for you personallythat you are a special
exception, that your filthy past is so bad that you certainly cannot ever be
forgiventhen you are denying the power of Christ's sacrifice! But His shed blood is
perfectly adequate, totally efficacious for you. How many tens of thousands of "tired
old Christians" are there who have given up in defeat, who are just slipping along in
life, harboring feelings of discouragement, doubt, fear and worry because of their own
personal sins?
How many are there who have swallowed Satan's
lie that if you sin in this or that category, and you are forgiven, and then, if you sin again
in the same category, you are all finished?
Listen! the only sin that is
"unpardonable" sin is a sin from which a person refuses to beg God's
pardon!
Jesus Christ was "Himself tempted in every
point like as we are," and the Bible says the greatest men of ScriptureDavid,
Elijah, Moses and otherswere "men of like passions with us."
So one of the first steps to a real cure
for discouragement is to quit thinking your case is different! Wake up and realize
that your problems are no worse than those faced by thousands and thousands of
othersand probably nowhere near so great! Think about Paul again. Have you
ever been shipwrecked? Have you ever been beaten with canes? Ever been whipped
almost senselessnot once, but three, four and five times? Ever been stoned and
dragged unconscious out of town and left for dead?
Probably not.
No matter how terrible your own personal
problems may seem at the time, you can probably think of any number of people who are
worse off, who are suffering trials that are almost unimaginable. Practically every day
you read in the papers or hear over the news of people whose loved ones are murdered,
raped, robbed or injured in automobile accidents. You hear of the incredible poverty,
squalid conditions, disease and death in the overpopulated, underdeveloped countries. What
is your situation in comparison with others?
Settle the Big Question First
The second step is to completely rid
yourself of feelings of guilt!
But how?
Jesus said, "Repent!"
To repent means to be deeply remorseful and
sorry you have broken God's holy, righteous and spiritual law (Romans 7:12-14).
"
Except you repent, you shall all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3).
"
Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the
remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit" (Acts 2:38).
When one repents and is baptized (Romans 6),
God promises to forgive! "For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and
their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more" (Hebrews 8:12).
"Who forgives all your iniquities;
who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from destruction; who crowns you with
loving kindness and tender mercies ... The Eternal is merciful and gracious, slow to
anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will He keep His anger
for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our
iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward
them that fear Him.
"As far as the east is from the west, so
far has He removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pities his children, so
the Eternal pities them that fear Him" (Psalms 103:3-13).
John wrote, "If we confess our sins, He is
faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness" (I John 1:9).
The really biggest question of all is what
happens when you die?
God's Word says all have sinned and come
short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) and that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23).
That means death from which there is no resurrectiondeath for all eternity!
Remember it is given to "all men once to
die" because that is the very nature of man since Adam.
"For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ
shall all be made alive" (I Corinthians 15:22). The natural death that comes to us
all from some final cause or other is not the punishment for sin. It is natural,
set in motion at creation. We are born, we live, and we die. But the wages of sin is
"the second death" (Revelation 20:14) in a lake of fire (verse 15).
The greatest question in your life is a
question of eternity. God wants to grant you eternal life, life forever, which is
very God-life, being made a member of the very family of God.
Jesus Christ is called the "firstborn of
the dead" (Colossians 1: 18) and the "firstborn among many brethren"
(Romans 8:29). Christ is the "firstfruits" of the dead (I Corinthians 15:23).
When you are born of God by a
resurrection from the dead, you inherit life eternal! Notice. "If in this life
only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. But now is Christ risen
from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. For since by man came death,
by man came also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ
shall all be made alive. But every man in his own order. Christ the firstfruits; afterward
they that are Christ's at His coming ... the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death
" (I Corinthians 15:19-23,26).
That ultimate enemy, that greatest of fears,
that dark, unknown mysterydeathneeds to be conquered in your mind. Christ has
triumphed over death, destroyed its power Satan is characterized as the former
"lord of the dead," as the one have power over the grave. And Christ, through
being killed, being buried and then resurrected, has overcome that power and has
destroyed the power of the grave.
What you need to do is to receive Jesus Christ
as your personal Savior from death! That is the really big decision in your
life.
It is a more important decision than marriage,
purchasing a home or an automobile or having children. It is more important than having an
operation or any other choice of life.
The first step toward overcoming doubt,
discouragement, fear, worry and feelings of futility is to repent and receive Jesus
Christ as your personal Savior! He said, "Repent you, and believe the Gospel"
(Mark 1:15).
Let Go of Your Faith
Next, you need to quit worrying your
faith!
Tens of thousands of people think they
might be forgiven. They hope they might have been forgiventhey once remember
asking God for forgivenessbut they're not quite sure.
They listen to the devil's lies. Satan is the
constant "accuser of the brethren" who day and night keeps trying to fill God's
ears with accusations against God's people.
He is the original sinner, the first liar and
the very architect of all sin! He is the origin of your sins too! Not that you
didn't have something to do with your sinsvou didbut Satan was the primary influence
in your sins. As such he has his guilt to bear too. You didn't sin alone. You
didn't sin because you wanted to. You probably wanted to rationalize around in your
mind that what you were doing was somehow right under the special circumstances.
You wanted to "do right"you
wanted to "be good," but somehow the desire to do good was not quite strong
enough to overcome the pull of your own human nature, your physical lusts and appetites,
and the unseen, powerful influence of this world and of Satan the devil!
Like Paul you found it was like a natural law
that, when you wanted to do good, evil was present with you. That was Satan!
He must bear his guilt in your sins, and finally God will place squarely upon Satan
that guilt, where it belongs (That act is pictured by the solemn observance of the Day of
Atonement, one of the seven annual Holy Days of God, showing Satan finally bound and the
world at one with God).
Don't believe the present lies of Satan, who
likes to nag around the edges of your consciousness and try to convince you that you
weren't really wholly forgiven! Satan would like you to worry about your
forgivenessto worry over your faith!
Like a little puppy "worrying" a rag
in playfulness, many people keep worrying over their faith. Instead of just dropping
the matter, believing completely that they have been forgiven, they allow their
present tendencies toward carnality to cast doubt continually on their past conversion,
make them doubt God, doubt their repentance and baptism, doubt God's Holy Spirit!
You need to quit worrying your faith,
and let go of it!
Baptism: a Type of Burial
The purpose for baptism is to act out a
burial ceremony. Read Romans 6. God tells us we are "buried by baptism" as if we
are considered dead to the law. God's law demands the death penalty, but Christ has
suffered that penalty for us in our stead. His death, burial and resurrection are
symbolized in our taking of the Passover (Lord's Supper) once each year to reconfirm our
acceptance of His shed blood for the removal of all past guilt, and by the ceremony of baptism,
being lowered completely into water as a symbol of burial!
Funeral directors explain that funeral services
help bereaved family members accept the fact of death. When one dies, is he merely
taken quietly away and buried with no ceremony? No, a church or chapel service is usually
held. The body may even be on view, and there may be a grave-side service with relatives
actually witnessing the interment of the coffin. Though always painful, this ceremony
helps the grieving survivors accept the fact that death has taken place. Seeing the
funeral service or the burial indelibly forces upon the memory that one has died,
that death is final!
Have you ever dreamed that someone who had died
was still alive? But, awakening from such a dream, you probably were forced to remember
the funeral, the burial. No matter how vividly your memory tried to convince you that
person was not really dead, you reminded yourself that you knew that person
had died, that you had seen his dead body or that your other relatives had, and you
realized it was only a dream.
This tendency to resist accepting the fact
of death is why the families of "MIAS" (soldiers "missing in action")
or families whose loved ones are listed as "missing" in an airline crash or ship
disaster or storm have such a difficult time. They always hold out hope their loved one
still livessince there was no proof of death! They believe, sometimes against
all odds and over a span of many years, that their loved one is still alive!
But, after a funeral service has occurred, no
matter how badly they might want to think their loved one is still alive, they must
face the incontrovertible fact that death has occurred!
Satan wants you to believe your "old
man" (Ephesians 4:22) is not really dead. He wants you to believe your old
self is like a "missing-inaction" report, probably still alive! If he can
get you to doubt your conversion, doubt your baptism and doubt you have truly been
forgiven, then he has you actually doubting the power of Christ's blood, the power
of His death, burial and resurrection!
But Satan is a liar and the father of all lies!
If you repent, the next step is baptism.
Baptism is a symbol of your burial. The
"old man of sin" has been destroyed, and, when you are brought up out of the
water, a water 11 grave," after a moment's complete submergence (baptism means
"immersion," not "sprinkling" or "pouring"), all your
sins of the past are left behind!
All of them!
You need to believe that, to come to
know it!
Perhaps a few mental thought processes could
help. You know that many relatives visit a grave to place flowers upon it from time to
time. Have you ever thought (if doubts nag your mind) about the site of your baptism? You
should think of it as a grave site, the place where you left your sins behind.
I am not suggesting a visit to a river bank or baptismal pool in someone's basement or a
church; I'm suggesting that the site of your baptism is like a permanent place, a permanent
happening that actually occurred there! In that point of time, you left your sins
behind!
You need to have the faith to know that
your old man is gonedead, buriedto know that you are walking in newness
of life. "
Put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is
corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and
that you put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true
holiness" (Ephesians 4:22-24).
"If you then be risen [by being brought up
out of baptism] with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sits on the
right hand of God ... For you are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God"
(Colossians 3:1-3).
"Therefore we are buried with Him by
baptism unto death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the
Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been planted
together in the likeness of His death, we shall be also in the likeness of His
resurrection: Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with Him, that the body of sin
might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin" (Romans 6:4-6).
A New Life!
When one is truly converted, a new
life begins!
The Bible speaks of "walking"
(living) in newness of lifea different way of life from that prior to
conversion.
Your repentance, baptism and total change of
attitude are brought about by receiving the very mind and nature of GodHis Holy
Spirit!
"For to be carnally minded is death; but
to be spiritually minded is life and peace ... But you are not in the flesh, but in the
Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit
of Christ, he is none of His. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin;
but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him that raised up
Jesus from the dead dwell in you, He that raised up Christ from the dead shall also
quicken your mortal bodies by His Spirit that dwells in you" (Romans 8:6-11).
When your human, physical existence is
"quickened" by the Holy Spirit, it means being made truly, spiritually alive.
A new creature, in Christ, has begun.
You are then called a "babe in
Christ," a newly begotten new creation!
Think about it.
How many little babies do you know who awaken
each morning with a monstrous cloud of guilt hanging over them? Why should a new
creature, a little baby in Christ, feel guilty, ashamed, condemned or embarrassed?
No! Healthy little babies are usually the
happiest little creatures alive, gurgling their joyous acceptance of life with smiles and
laughter toward their parents when they are well fed, comforted and cared for. They are a new
human life, and they are innocentno feelings of guilt!
When you repent and are baptized and receive
God's Holy Spirit, you become a new creation of Christ, and you should feel innocent,
because you are!
What About Present Sins?
If you were converted at some time in
the past, but you still have difficulty in overcoming feelings of guilt, it may be that
you do not understand how you can be forgiven for present sinsor sins and
mistakes you may have made since your baptism!
Remember. "
God commendeth His love
toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us"
(Romans 5:8). We were living in sin, in a constant sinful state, contrary to God's
laws, carnally minded and hostile to the way of God and the Ten Commandments of God.
But, when we repent, Christ's shed blood
forgives us of our past sins! "Much more then, being now justified by His
blood..." (verse 9).
Justified means being forgiven of past
guilt! It is not blanket forgiveness of present and future sins and mistakes,
but the removal of all past sins and mistakes up to and including the moment of baptism
and the laying on of hands for the receiving of God's Holy Spirit. Christ's death
removes your past guiltbut it requires a living Savior, the life of
Christ as a daily High Priest at the right hand of God the Father, to forgive you on a
daily basis!
"For if, when we were enemies, we were
reconciled [justified] to God by the death of His Son, much more, being reconciled, we
shall be saved by His life!" (Romans 5: 10).
Notice the future tense in this scripture
concerning the process of being savedthe present progression of a
Christian who will make mistakes on a daily basis but who is looking to the daily
intercession of a living Savior for forgiveness!
Millions falsely assume the "death"
of Christ saves you automatically, that there is nothing further you must do!
But notice that your own Bible plainly states it is His death that removes your past
guilt and that it is His life, His daily intercessory work at the right hand of
God, that can forgive you now and tomorrow and the day after!
God's Word says, "If we [we who are
Christians, we who have already been baptized and have received the Holy Spirit] say that
we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins,
He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness" (I John 1:8,9). John is writing to converted people. People
who had already repented, been baptized and had hands laid on them for the receiving of
the Holy Spirit.
Yet he says, "If we say that we have not
sinned," it is made clear that all Christians still fall short of the mark of
perfection, still make mistakes, commit sins, omit the positive actions of love and faith
toward others on a virtually daily basis! "If we [converted Christians) say that we have
not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us" (I John 1:10).
This is the crux of guilt feelings on the part
of converted persons.
Many believe the devil's lies thatsince
they were once converted, baptized and received the Holy Spirit and then they weakened,
they "backslid," or they "went back into a life of sin"they can
now never be forgiven.
Oh, they want to be forgiventhey
desperately want God's help. They want to be restored to the love, mercy and goodness of
Jesus Christ. But they feel they are a special case, so low, so dirty, so
no-account, so useless and so guilty that God just cannot put up with them
any more.
The strongest proof that Jesus Christ can, and
will, still forgive you is your own deepest desire that He do so! If you want
forgiveness, you can be sure you have not sinned willfully.
These wonderful scriptures prove that even Christians
can, and do, sin!
They also prove that God is willing to forgive
you when you sinIf you sincerely and humbly call out to Him and ask for Jesus
Christ's daily intercession.
What About LongTerm Sinning?
But what about habits such as profanity,
lying, smoking, drugs or sex problems?
Will Jesus Christ forgive you when you know in
your heart that you should not do something, such as smoking, but you do in on an almost
continual basis?
First, let's understand that smoking is a
physical matter, an assault (and insult) against your body. It is only
"spiritual" in the sense that it may break the commandment against
"coveting" (to lust for physical satisfaction of the senses). It is not the
grossest of all sinsit is not the most obnoxious, hated, ugly, evil act of all
timeas some might portray it. But it is something Christians should not do.
Let's assume you are a smoker and you want to
repent and be baptized and receive God's Holy Spirit.
But then for some reasonthe same old
companions, same bowling team, same restaurants or bars, same business or jobyou
revert to your old habits and are tempted to smoke again.
Is this the unpardonable sin?
Absolutely not! You probably need help with the
problem since it can be as much a problem of the nervous system and have deep
physiological roots as well as psychological ones. The Schick centers can give people
help, and there are many excellent books written by former smokers that can help. God can
help through prayer. You can change your places of recreation, alter your daily routines.
But, even after trying all this, suppose you
slip up now and then?
God can still forgive you if you want to be
forgiven! You will eventually break that grip on yourself with His help!
What about a person who is virtually a prisoner
to medicines or drugs?
God still loves that person. Jesus Christ
understands his terrible human weaknessesHe stands ready to help lift away the
burden of "the sin which doth so easily, beset us" (Hebrews 12:1) when He
is called upon for help.
Notice. "Looking unto Jesus the author and
finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross,
despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider
Him that endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest you be wearied and
faint in your minds. You have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin"
(Hebrews 12:2-4).
What? "Resisted unto blood, striving
against sin"? Then you are pictured (even as a baptized, converted Christian), not
as a posturing, self-righteous, pharisaical, "perfect" person who never sins,
but as a struggling, working, praying, striving person doing daily battle
against your sinful nature just as the apostle Paul said he did!
You have probable "resisted unto
guilt" or "resisted unto hopelessness" or "resisted unto your near
total exhaustion" against some temptations of your fleshbut have you
"resisted unto blood, striving against sin"?
Probably not.
David prayed, "Wash me thoroughly from
mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin
is ever before me. Against You, You only [all sin is against God], have I sinned,
and done this evil in Your sight, that You might be justified when You speak, and be clear
when You judge. Behold, I was shaped in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me ...
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow"
(Psalms 51:2-7).
This beautiful psalm of repentance is a good
one to read on you knees, to make as your own prayer to God. Next time you are showering
or bathing, you might be saying to God, in your mind, that even as you are being physically
cleansed (just as David referred to "hyssop," which is a strong cleansing
agent), so you ask God to cleanse you spiritually.
Close the Door on Sins Past
When you go through a door and close it
behind you, you might think that is the way your old sins were left behindlike the
closing of a door, the closing of an old book, the final, absolute departure from sins
that are past.
You need to let go of your
faithquit "worrying" itand trust God for your forgiveness.
Remember, then, that you are not the only one
with problems. There are tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions of
people who have similar problems, and many of them even worse problems than you
have.
Remember that God loves you, that He is not
willing that "any should perish." Remember that Jesus says to you, "Come
unto Me, you that are weary, and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
He says, "Repent, and be baptized
every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall
receive the gift of the Holy Spirit" (Acts 2:38).
You need to enter into a personal relationship
with your Savior, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who can wash away all your sin. He can become
your daily High Priest (Hebrews 9:14-28) to help you with every personal
need.
You need to know, and know that you know, that
all guilt has been buriedwashed away, forgottenremoved from you completely.
You need to know you are a "new
creation" in Christ, like a newborn baby, completely free from your guilty
past and joyously looking forward to each day in the knowledge that if you do make a
mistake you can be sorry about it, repent of it, go to God in prayer and ask for
forgiveness from it, and go to sleep that night knowing you are forgiven.
If you wish personal counseling, and if any of our ministers
or helpers can serve you in any wayif this booklet has inspired further questions,
or if you want to discuss your own spiritual needsthen please write to us and let us
know.
And remember, "Christians aren't perfect,
just forgiven!"
-End-
PLEASE COPY AND DISTRIBUTE AS WIDELY AS POSSIBLE
WITHOUT MAKING ANY CHANGES and WITHOUT CHARGE TO ANYONE
This publication is intended to be used as a personal study tool. Please know it is not wise to take any man's word for anything, including ours, so prove all things for yourself from the pages of your own Bible. Because your salvation is between you and God, it is through such personal verification that you will gain confidence and come to know for yourself what is truth.
-End-
PLEASE COPY AND DISTRIBUTE AS WIDELY AS POSSIBLE
WITHOUT MAKING ANY CHANGES and WITHOUT CHARGE TO ANYONE
This publication is intended to be used as a personal study tool. Please know it is not wise to take any man's word for anything, including ours, so prove all things for yourself from the pages of your own Bible. Because your salvation is between you and God, it is through such personal verification that you will gain confidence and come to know for yourself what is truth.
The Garner Ted Armstrong Evangelistic Association
P.O. Box 747
Flint, TX 75762
Phone: (903) 561-7070 Fax: (903) 561-4141