Chapter Three

THE human child is the most helpless of all newborn creatures. The young colt, the calf, even the baby porpoise and whale are able to stand, walk, leap or swim within hours, even minutes after birth.

But they are creatures of INSTINCT. A human being does not have instinct, but a mind! No one had to teach the young colt where to go for its "dinner." It simply went there -- automatically. But man has a mind capable of accumulating knowledge.

At birth -- you knew absolutely nothing. The newborn human infant would starve to death if it were not taken by the more intelligent parent, and nursed. Oftentimes, though not always, the mother must even begin a type of sucking motion with the jaws of the child by manipulating its lower jaw in order to teach it the habit of nursing. This is not always true, but serves to illustrate the amazing fact that the greatest creation in the physical sphere -- the human mind -- has such a simple beginning.

As a creature of habit, a baby begins to learn at the very instant of its birth. The way in which it first learns is by mere association. But these "associations" begin to form certain habits within the rapidly growing and developing mind of a newly born human baby. Let us understand the way in which the newborn child learns.

Very quickly, the baby becomes accustomed to the smell, the taste and sounds of its own mother. (We are here speaking of that which is the average and normal, not foster mothers, wet-nurses, etc.) If the infant of only a very few weeks is hungry, and begins to cry for his food, it may be observed that he will oftentimes quit crying the moment he is picked up by his mother, because the sound of her reassuring voice, the feeling of her arms lifting him from his bassinet, and the smell of her own body has begun to become completely associated with the satisfying taste of her milk.

Perhaps you have seen cases where tiny babies have been reared in very quiet homes. It takes only the slightest rattling of the bottles by the milkman, the dropping of the cover on the mailbox by the postman, or the barking of a dog to awaken the child from a mid-afternoon nap. This is true, because the baby has become accustomed to living in a very quiet environment. If the child has been used to a noisy environment, such trivial sounds would never disturb him during his nap.

This factor of learning by association is so vitally important that it must be understood thoroughly.

No sensible dog trainer would think of confusing a dog under training with more than the simplest, straightforward and direct commands.

In attempting to "house-break" a dog, the dog is simply taken to his sandbox, newspaper, or outdoors. He is reassured, patted and fondled. The trainer tries to carefully take the dog to such a place at prescribed intervals. If and when the dog makes a mistake (and they nearly always do!) the trainer very severely rebukes him, says "bad dog," forces him to smell the mess he has made, and spanks him for it. Gradually, by constant diligence, and by means of association, the dog becomes housebroken. He learns that it is going to net harsh words, and a spanking for relieving himself in certain areas. He learns, on the other hand, that he will be given tidbits to eat, a reassuring hand and a soft voice when he uses his prescribed areas.

There are absolutely millions of parents today who do not know how to keep a child from becoming as destructive as a proverbial "bull in a china shop."

They are completely helpless to keep their child from crawling around from one thing to another, turning over knick-knacks, pulling doilies from tables, pulling out electric plugs, tearing up books and magazines, or any other of the one thousand and one different things a little crawling infant seems to "get into." Countless, it seems, are the parents who have not the slightest glimpse of understanding as to how to cope with such a situation.

Isn't it a pity? If they could realize their child is a creature of habit -- but that habits are formed by association, that each habit must be taught, much of the problem would be solved.

A vitally important principle every parent needs to understand is that good habits must be constantly taught the child from early infancy.

"'Never too old to learn' is truer in reverse. The further it is reversed, the truer it becomes. 'Never too young to learn' is the idea parents and nurses should always bear in mind. The more a behavior pattern is affixed to the primary, simple, unconditioned responses, the easier it is to establish firmly. That is to say, the sooner habits (good or bad) are inculcated, the more force they will have, the longer they will endure, the harder they will be to change" (Hohman, op. cit., p. 22).

Yes, the time to begin training children is MUCH EARLIER than most parents think!

It seems to be much simpler for children to acquire bad habits than it is to learn good ones. Hence, it appears that thumb-sucking, throwing silver on the floor, or other habits are acquired after only two or three attempts, while it takes many months to teach a child to stay dry. The simple answer to this problem is that the selfish child learns much more quickly to do that which is pleasurable, that which is curious, interesting, and easy to do, rather than that which takes effort, concentration, and persistence. It is much easier to learn a bad habit than it is to acquire a good one!

Obviously, since the child repeats what he enjoys, it is good for parents to make habits which the child needs to acquire interesting and enjoyable. However, when all is said and done, the child must learn to do that which is right, enjoyable or not.

Most parents assume their very tiny children are too young to teach. They believe they should wait until the child is old enough to "understand." However, this excuse is often carried over into most of the pre-school years by many parents, resulting in a perfectly horrible little child who is rebellious, ill-mannered, disrespectful toward his elders, and generally destructive.

A good slogan to remember is the one already quoted: "Never too young to learn."

More will be said about this later -- on exactly how to attain the desired result with very young children.

Perhaps the second most important manner in which a very young child acquires certain habits is through mimicking and imitating others.

"Aren't such activities as climbing, imitation, emulation and rivalry, pugnacity, anger, resentment, sympathy, fear, appropriation, acquisitiveness, kleptomania, constructiveness, play, curiosity, sociability, shyness, cleanliness, modesty, shame, love, jealousy, parental love, and all of those pure instincts which appear and run their course completely beyond the control of the parents? Surely, these things are not dependent upon the way I let my child grow up.

"Most of the older psychologists would agree with you. The behaviorist believed, too, when he began his work, that some of these acts would spring forth fully formed. But we waited for their appearance in vain.

"Now we are forced to believe from the study of facts that all of these forms of behavior are BUILT IN by the parents and by the environment which the parent allows the child to grow up in. There are no instincts. We build in at an early age everything that is later to appear" (Watson, op. cit., pp. 37-38).

As has been previously outlined, human beings know NOTHING at birth. They must acquire, through the channels of the five senses, everything they come to know. One of the major ways in which every human being learns is by mimicking and imitating others.

This method of learning is so powerful, so intense that it follows us all through our lives -- often guiding and ruling our every action, our customs and our habits, even as mature adults.

Understanding this broad field of imitation as a means of child training -- it should become immediately clear that parents have a frightening responsibility of setting the right example before their children.

Parents who are raucous, who disagree, and show they are frequently upset with one another are going to be surprised to find they will have children who will also become raucous, disagreeable and given to temper displays and angry outbursts. It also logically follows that parents with bad table manners, unclean personal habits, resentment toward authority, inherent laziness or any number of hundreds of similar frailties and faults are presenting a constant, powerful influence over their children to develop these same habits.

So strong is this imitative impulse in children that it becomes one of the truly major reasons for the development of many child criminals. As has already been outlined previously, criminal behavior is learned. Perhaps one of the best illustrations of this factor is in the modern habits of television viewing. Isolated voices have been lifted up in alarm over the brutalities paraded across the television screen and into the minds of tiny tots.

The Christian Science Monitor (October 27, 1971), in an article titled "TV Still Lives by the Sword," reported: "Contrary to a widespread public impression that television violence has been tempered, an informal Monitor survey shows that the amount of violence in adult programming continues to bombard the viewer at the same high level recorded by this newspaper in a similar survey in October, 1968.

"In 74 hours of prime-time evening viewing over a period of a week, Monitor staff members recorded 217 incidents and threats of violence and 125 killings and murders. This compares with 254 incidents and 71 killings and murders tabulated in the 1968 Monitor survey.

"These statistics do not include violence in comedy shows, news programs or documentaries. Separate tabulations were made for children's programs on a Saturday morning ...

"There is considerable pressure on the networks to improve children's programming in view of the recent report from the office of the Surgeon General of Public Health, which found that THERE WAS A CONNECTION BETWEEN VIEWING AGGRESSION AND ACTING AGGRESSIVELY, especially as it concerns children."

A noted judge, with 25 years of experience in the municipal courts of Chicago, including more than 10 years of presiding over Chicago's unique Boys Court said:

"Much of the inspiration for the juvenile crimes of today comes from motion pictures, radio, and television, where the gunman, the outlaw, the illicit lover, the gangster is often glorified and -- at the very least -- is made out as a perfectly normal and necessary part of our civilization.

"The hope that the men who produce this junk would be sufficiently enlightened to police themselves and accept their tremendous responsibility in building youthful morals and standards intelligently and constructively is apparently useless. They have demonstrated that the certainty of dollar profit in smut and violence is more important to them than the moral profit in constructive fare.

"So it's up to parents to know what their children are watching and hearing, and to exercise some intelligent restraint for them. Parents also have the power of life and death over what is shown on television. Get vocal. Make yourself heard. Refuse to buy products. You'll get results."

Too many parents today think it is "cute" to see a child actually IMITATING the carrying out of a horrifyingly brutal crime! There has been tongue-in-cheek amusement over the specter of young children whooping around the tree where they have tied an amused and patiently tolerant father, pretending they are burning him at the stake. There have been too many parents who have smiled with benign condonation at the antics of little tots trotting through the house shouting "Bang! Bang!" at each other -- getting the vicarious thrill of killing one another when they are hardly old enough to walk.

Children would far rather imitate gangsters, crooks and hoodlums than they would the heroes. Have you ever noticed how often children, in playing games, will call themselves by the names of some of their heroes? The chances are -- the more of a merciless killer he is -- the more "fans" in the youthful generation he will acquire.

Pet owners may be quite concerned about allowing a cursing man around their talking parrot -- but would think nothing of letting their children witness thousands of murders watching the mass media.

Knowing this vital principle of the rapidity with which a child learns by mimicking and imitating, it is a capital crime against your own children to allow the totally indiscriminate use of television, the unsupervised and uncontrolled reading of comic books and novels, or to permit yourselves to display wrong habits and glaring errors in front of your children.

Bad habits are acquired after only one or two experiences! Remember, it's the pleasurable experience that is most often repeated. A little baby likes the sound of his spoon hitting the floor, and seeing his mother or father pick it up for him. He likes the excitement when he dumps his cereal bowl, or spills his milk, and sees the flurry of motion and sound around him.

Naturally, unless he is firmly taught not to do these things, he will repeat them until they become habit.

There are hundreds of things you will do automatically. Why? Because you have learned the habit of doing them. They are not carefully thought-out actions, but automatic reflexes as a result of certain stimuli to the nervous system.

How, then, can you teach your children the correct habits of obedience, cleanliness, proper eating, good posture, orderliness, truthfulness, and respect?

The first time your baby reaches out a chubby little hand to grasp a spoon, he may drop it several times, get it between his fingers, and in both hands, and try desperately to put it in his mouth. He will trade hands with it, bang it on his highchair tray, and throw it on the floor. It is only after weeks and months of patient teaching that a child will gradually learn to hold the spoon correctly, eliminating all the unnecessary movements and actions, and finally solving the complicated process of all the muscular movements involved in simply holding a spoon. This is learned through trial and error. Obviously, the parent should place the spoon in the baby's hand, and show the child how to hold it correctly, helping him along until he is able to do it for himself.

The first time a child drops a spoon (after he has attained the muscular coordination necessary to properly hold it), the parent should merely say, "no" and pick it up, placing it back in his hand. The second time, repeat the command, and swat the back of the hand sharply -- it won't bruise or injure. In a very short time, you will have a very small child who will not ever, unless by pure accident in a very rare instance, drop his silverware on the floor.

Some habits are learned almost instantaneously, because they give a pleasant reward to the child. Other habits, and usually the most necessary ones, take a little longer.

For example, the child of three to four years of age may have great difficulty lacing his own shoes -- tying them in horrifying knots, or hardly tying them at all. However, at the age of five or six he may be tying them smoothly and with seemingly no effort. This is as a result of literally hundreds of experiences with tying and untying his own shoes. It is the constant practice which has made him finally efficient in tying his shoes.

If we want a child to hold his spoon correctly, tie his shoes correctly, walk, stand or sit correctly, should not this same desire project itself into all phases of life?

It is practice, in the right habits, which will bring about perfection. Thus, teaching a child to open or close a door softly and correctly several times in a few minutes will begin to instill in him the right habit of always opening and closing the door correctly. Teaching him to go to the bathroom to wash his hands and face prior to eating as a very young child will instill in him such a HABIT of doing this that it will carry over into all his adult life.

You may have heard it said that children coming from a large family are usually more generous as adults. Why is this? Simply because they were forced through environmental circumstances to learn to share as a very young child. They had to share their toys, bedroom, dinner table, games and, oftentimes, even clothing.

The more pleasurable an experience, the quicker the child will form a habit of repeating the experience. Thus, the tiny baby, when accidentally finding its own thumb, begins to suck. This thumb-sucking brings about a feeling of solace and comfort which is immediately pleasurable to the child. Only one or two times, and a full-fledged habit of thumb-sucking is acquired! But this is a bad habit, and should be broken as early as possible.

Some modern child psychologists advocate allowing a child to suck his thumb up until ages of five and six or even seven! However, acquiring the proper type of nighttime covering, and dealing with the problem diligently during the daytime will break the child of this undesirable habit which could, contrary to some popular opinion, cause slight damage to the gums and even protruding front teeth. By using a zipper-type sheet at night, where the child's hands are not allowed to come in contact with his mouth, this bad habit can be broken.

Obviously, since a child learns much more rapidly if the experience can be made pleasurable, the problem arises as how to make the desirable habits more pleasurable.

"Only when some success is attained does the child have a feeling of satisfaction. A few words of praise given now and then for his somewhat bungling attempts will often do more toward helping a child acquire a desirable habit than any amount of unfavorable comments. To point a child's mistakes rather than his successes, in other words, is to set up in his mind an unpleasant association with the desired act. The wise parent who wishes his child to learn to lace his shoes will compliment him, even though he occasionally misses a hole or falls short of the adult standard" (Marion Ellison Faegre and S. E. Anderson, "Childcare and Training," University of Minn., p. 86).

Parents who show only disgust at the mistakes of their children, are presenting a very difficult barrier to the formation of right habits.

If the principles outlined in this series are applied in individual cases, there are many hundreds of right habits which may be acquired without too much difficulty. And, whatever the difficulty -- the results are well worth it.

Perhaps some mothers make a "fetish" out of personal cleanliness, always to be seen chasing their child about with a damp washcloth, and always horrified if they become even slightly dirty. This is an extreme. But nevertheless, personal cleanliness should be instilled early in the child as a habit! Obviously, this can only be done if the parent, in the beginning, keeps the child meticulously clean at all times.

If children are always made to clean up immediately upon coming into the house after play, if they are always made to wash and comb prior to each meal, if the first thing they do upon arising is to wash, comb their hair and brush their teeth, they will learn the habit of personal cleanliness very early. Later, in the early school years, when it becomes a matter of personal self- discipline, you will find you have a child who is acutely aware of personal hygiene and cleanliness.

Frequently, parents who express disgust at a certain vegetable in the presence of their children find their children form a "dislike" for that particular vegetable. Remember, your child learns by association. He learns by your example. Spanking may be used to teach the child to eat all that is set before him, or deprivation of a reward, such as letting the child go without dessert, will sometimes gain the desired results. Nature will not let the child starve. Sometimes, mothers feel a child who is made to go without a meal will "starve to death." This is simply untrue -- and even spinach will acquire a peculiarly interesting taste if the child gets REALLY hungry.

Never, at any age, is there an excuse for children to run away from their parents, or to disobey when told to come when called. Don't ever let your child become like the "average" 18-monther described already who, when "asked to 'Come here, dear' ... either stands still or runs in the opposite direction" (Ilg and Ames, op. cit., p. 22).

Instead, as your child learns how better to walk, begin to teach him to come when he is called. Make your commands short and to the point. "Come to daddy!" "Come to mama!" or, simply using the word "Come!" is ample for an 18-month child.

Obviously, the first time you call, the child will not understand what you mean, and probably will not come. This should be accompanied, then, by placing the child squarely in front of you when he first learns to "toddle around," backing away from him a few feet to a chair or convenient place, and then accompanying his toddling toward you with the words "Come!" or "Come to daddy!" in this fashion, the child learns by association that coming in your direction is the result of hearing the command "Come!" Later, as he increases in ability to walk, try calling him even if he is walking in the opposite direction. At first, when he doesn't immediately turn around and come to you, go to him, pick him up and turn him around, then back away and repeat the command -- holding out your hands. You will find the careful repetition of this practice will soon instill the habit in your child of coming when called.

If the child begins to think it is all a game, and laughingly runs in the other direction, what should you do? Most parents would probably "hate like everything" to punish their child at this juncture, because they would simply reason to themselves "but he thinks I'm just playing."

That's just it. How is he ever going to find out you are not playing -- if you don't teach him?

In the fashion already outlined, give the command "Come here!" If the child runs in the other direction run to him, spank him with a few firm swats, enough to be felt. Don't just mildly surprise the child. Place him squarely in his tracks, facing in the same direction in which he was going. Retire to the same position in which you were when you made the original command. Repeat the command. This time, the chances are, he will come to you when called. If he does not, repeat the same procedure until the child has thoroughly understood what is required of him, and has begun to come at your call, regardless of the direction in which he is headed, regardless of what he is doing, regardless of how far away he may be.

Perhaps this sounds quite unnecessary to some -- but it is exceedingly remarkable to note the scores of parents with little children today who couldn't get their children to come to them when they call if their very lives depended upon it.

Sounds simple? But it isn't. Again, NO child will ever listen to his parents unless he is taught to listen. The parent who constantly says, "Did you hear me?" or, "Did you understand?" or, "Pay attention to mama!" is the parent who has never learned to teach the child to listen. First-grade teachers could form a veritable army of witnesses to tell surprised parents how few children have ever learned to listen to instructions. It is another of the beginning principles in child rearing.

It is truly amazing what a few sharp spankings will accomplish to improve a child's hearing. If your child does not seem to hear you when you call, or his mind wanders when you are instructing him, or he pays no attention to you -- the following measures should be applied: Speak ONLY ONCE. Speak sufficiently audibly so that you are SURE your child (if he has normal hearing, which we are assuming, since we are dealing with the "average" case) can hear you. In this way, you will be assured at the outset that his lack of attentiveness is not due to a fault on your part. If he doesn't listen, simply go to him and apply a sharp, but comparatively mild, spanking! Explain to the child he did not listen to you -- and tell him to be more attentive next time.

Apply the proper methods of positive teaching, followed by swift, never-failing and loving punishment for infractions. In this manner, you will break the bad habit of not listening to parental instructions and admonitions, and instill the good habit of always listening attentively to the parent. In this fashion, whether your child is playing, or engaged in some pursuit which calls for his undivided attention, he will, nevertheless, always "have one ear tuned" to the voice of his parent.

This is another point at which many parents fail-simply because they are never sure their child really could have heard them. Use wisdom. If your child is outdoors, and banging on a tin pan or playing noisily with toys, the chances are you should not even attempt to call loudly from inside the house, unless there is an open window very near the child's play area. Rather, you should go to a place where the child can see as well as hear -- and then call your child or give whatever instructions or teaching you wish.

I know of a case where a parent was finding herself calling repeatedly for her son. He had a backyard "project" involving his pets, and was invariably "busy" and "occupied" with them. He apparently didn't hear the calls of his parents. He was reminded to listen carefully, and sternly admonished. Next time, he still didn't come. He was firmly spanked for it. The next day, he came to the door several times when his mother hadn't called, saying, "Mom, did you call me?" Does this illustrate the point? Always be sure any normal child couldn't help but hear, and then, if the child does not respond, apply the lesson until he does learn to respond.

Remember, one of the greatest lessons any of us can learn is a deep inner sense of respect for authority. Not only do many children "speak against dignitaries" today, but millions are allowed to "sass" their parents, to talk back, to say "Yeah!" or "Naw!" to parental questions or commands.

Children should be taught to look up to the office and authority of their parents. The child who truly loves his parents will be able to experience an even fuller love if he is also taught a deep inner sense of respect toward his parents. This may be evidenced in the manner in which the child answers the parents.

It is neither "old-fashioned" nor wrong to teach children to say, "Yes, sir!" or "Yes, ma'am!" to their parents. Teaching the child to say, "Yes, father" or "Yes, mother" may sound, perhaps, a little too laborious and lengthy and the same purposes may be achieved by a simple "Yes, sir" or "No, ma'am." My child invariably answers me with a "Yes, sir" or a "No, sir" and, in looking back, I can recall having to apply a very mild spanking on only one occasion in his entire life to instill in him this habit. It was simply a matter of the positive teaching. He was taught how to answer.

You should begin at a very early age, when a child is first learning to put together simple phrases and learning to talk. When asking a child a question, such as, "Did you have a good time today?" if the child says, "y-e-e-e-es" -- then you should say: "Say, 'Yes, sir!" and have your child repeat this a few times. As a result of diligent teaching in each instance, within just a very few days, or, at the most, a few weeks -- you will have instilled in your child a habit which will last through the remainder of his natural life. At age four, or five, my boy was answering "Yes, sir" on almost every occasion. However, I began to notice frequent slips, and that he would begin to drop off the "sir" on occasion. I said, "Mark, you should always say 'Yes, sir,' or 'No, sir,' when you talk to your daddy, or 'Yes, ma'am' or 'No, ma'am,' when you talk to your mother. You have been slipping up on this lately -- and forgetting. I'm calling this to your attention -- now -- to tell you about it as a reminder -- so you won't slip up on it in the future. If you do, then I will have to give you a spanking to help you remember -- do you understand?" "Yes, sir!" answered my son.

However, true to form, he did forget within a few hours, or days -- I don't remember now. At any rate, true to my promise, I did spank him for it. I don't believe I swatted him more than four or five times. He tearfully apologized, and I put my arms around him and loved him, telling him I was giving him the spanking merely to help him remember -- and that he sometimes needed this help as a part of his positive teaching -- so he wouldn't forget.

At a very early age, children may be taught to put up their own toys, fold and hang up clothing, help make their beds, clean up after themselves in the bathroom, or do other simple tasks about the house or yard. This is not with the aim of acquiring cheap labor about the home -- far from it. It is with the goal in mind of teaching your child one of the most important lessons of life, which, simply stated, is this: to do what he is told to do -- when he is told to do it.

By constantly teaching your child to perform certain tasks about the home, you are instilling several habits within him at once. The habit of obedience, of neatness, of cleanliness, of listening to parental instruction, of answering correctly and that of performing definite tasks are all involved in this procedure.

At first, you will need to "spell out" exactly what is expected of the child. For example: With your child, bend over and pick up one of his toys. Hand it to him, and then, take him by the hand, show him the proper place for the toy. After you have done this a few times, then you may have him pick it up and carry it to its proper place unaided. After a few times, giving simple instructions all the while, you will find that your child is able to pick up an object from one part of the house, and, progressively, going through several rooms, pull open the right drawer and put it in its proper place.

As your child gets to the age where he can understand more than one simple instruction at a time, begin to link together two or even three simple instructions. For example, say, "Johnny, pick up these toys and take them to your room -- and put them away in their proper place. Then, bring daddy his slippers from his closet." Be slow and definite in your instructions. In this fashion, going to his room, and then relating the putting away of one or two objects with the obtaining of another, you have begun to teach your child how to accomplish certain definite series of tasks -- how to follow parental instructions!

As he grows older, you may increase the instructions proportionately. Again, these may sound like simple principles -- yet there are literally vast hordes of parents who have never taken the time or the effort to teach their children how to respond to simple commands.

A small girl was being "brought up," or perhaps it would be better to say was being allowed to grow up, the "permissive" way. Her family would be talking to guests, and she would appear, beating loudly on a tin pan. Her mother would imperturbably smile and gently say, "Joan, dear, take your pan into the other room, darling, so we may talk ..." Joan would shake her head and continue drumming.

Her mother would repeat the request, to which the child finally replied, "No! I want to play HERE!"

Then followed a long discourse by mother, on the rights and desires of other people -- how the "grownups" wanted to visit, and would she please be a "good girl" and leave the room?

To all this, Joan merely continued shaking her head and drumming.

Finally, the mother arose, and led the guests out on the patio, retreating in full flight, leaving little Joan in possession of the field, clearly the victor. The mother murmured, as she left the house. "I'm sorry folks -- but you know how it is -- she's so little, and it's so difficult for her to understand ..."

How about it? Is this the way you want your child to be?

You see, little Joan did really "understand"! She understood that she could get her own way -- that she didn't have to obey her parents' suggestions, and that she could do just as she pleased. This parent, not quite sure the child was old enough to "understand" things on an adult level -- and therefore to "reason out" what her logical course of action should be, was actively engaged in teaching her child a terrible habit of selfishness, lack of respect for her elders, and disobedience.

This is far from an uncommon situation. It is almost a rule in many homes today.

First, make sure your child understands the simple, direct commands and admonitions you give -- then make your child obey them by piloting him through the first few routines -- and then having him accomplish the tasks on his own.

Your children can and should learn right habits and respect at an early age. As mentioned, infancy is the time to start teaching your child right habits. In the early years of infancy, the child should establish the basis of good habits and proper respect. Then, as he grows toward teenage, there will be no problem of the "impossible" child who simply will not obey his parents.

Be diligent and firm -- but loving -- when the child is young. You will be amazed at the results.